Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Urgh, for goodness sake, since when has John become a target for displeasure! Is it because I'm too happy once again?! I must be kept in some form of agony, either by being left in a cliff hanger to know somebody is unsure of themself or just merely the victim of a short tempered sibling. I'm supposedly their guide to the right course of action, but I was contradicted each and every time I suggested something. Now I scared them off by expressing my annoyance! It's either one or the other, helping with degradation inside, or keeping my assurances to myself. It seems everyone around me never is unsure of themselves, I always get the "Are you sure?" question. This is my answer that I will never say, because I can confirm it yes or no as I trust in my own logic.

I'm going to be super corny and cliche right now. If you don't believe in what you say, or do, then nobody else can be for sure of what you're saying or doing is correct. Here's the logic behind the cliche, your thoughts and actions are your opinions and positions, if you're not sure about something, then you will tend to think about the opposing opinion and positions, thus you either have equal strengthed arguments, or you're position is weak and shaky physically. Since you have equally strengthed opinions, then you end up getting a headache from wondering which one is right as both seem right at the current time. So you usually look for help to sway one side or the other, OR you shut up in a conversation because you can't take a stand IN the conversation! Thus is the way if an anti-conversationalist, or an isolative person. I've been that way, and I'm sick of it, the loneliness really sux because nobody knows you, or you (I) think that nobody knows you (I).

Now I'm done with, I know this is offensive, and they're going to say "Hey, we have feelings too, I'm just thinking from another's perspective, and rebutting with that" If you're going to think in that perspective all the time, then why ask me for help if you can do the reverse just fine. I'd love to help, and I GUESS it's okay to have me thinking my old ways too, but I don't like it because I end up wasting countless hours writing and typing, and end up at the end, saying "Oh what the heck, I'm just going to BS with this position," blurt it all out, and end up when I get it back "Oh, I got a decent grade =D"

The 2nd thing is that if I'm a slight annoyance to another, then don't jump all over me and hit me emotionally in a strong attack(whiny sibling) or throw me off a cliff to hang (asking for help). Pain Pain pain, as one of the radio messages on my flight sims quotes "WANT SOME MORE?!"

Sunday, December 28, 2003

As my friend's display name says Ever Onward - Funz over, time to study. Well atleast the holidays were good for the most part. Party on the Friday starting of the holiday with a party, bike riding in december, playing games throughout, cleaning the house up, talking with friends, and getting my airplane done. Well the landing gear broke again because glue does not work very well over tape. I will add a triangle support to my landing gear, and hopefully it'll be a bit better. Played lots of games, mainly computer space combat simulations, and that's it. I got 2 presents this year, which is less than usual, but the thought and quality from these 2 gifts outweight the quantity by a thousand times =D A photo album from a friend, and sweater from my cousin.

Gifts to my family were cards and money to our older cousins (Anna and Leslie), and something else for our younger cousin (Derek not telling, as that may give away his age) =P However the best gift I think the family shared was each other's company last night. My sister could talk to Anna, and Leslie could kind of show off his girlfriend that my dad mistakenly mistook for one of his previous girlfriends WHOOPS! Hahaha, well parents, uncles and aunts all had good fun I think talking and chatting for hours about jobs, about us the little ones growing up really fast, and about other things like cameras and projectors. Derek and my little brother had fun sword fighting each other, and also played on the computer (bionicle.com again)^^

Yes everyone was having fun, with the exception of the oddball being emphasized this year. I am 6 years younger than my older cousins, and 6 years older than my younger cousins. And there's absolutely nothing in between. So I was bouncing back and forth between the 3 groups of people, I mainly stuck with the parents and uncles because sis and anna are having a girly talk, and the little ones are playing a boring flash game. But even there, because of my lack of cantonese, I could only understand bits of it. But it was enough to get the points, not the humour though that sometimes occured. Also, I'm a lot younger than all of them, so I don't have much to say either, except that I would probably feel like my little brother blurting and not thinking. So I just listened hard and tried to learn a bit.

Funz over, time to study, I spent 13hrs sleeping last night! Holy smokes, how can I just sleep like that. What happened to my fixed waking time! I read half the book section of electrochemical impulses last night when the party was over, and I will spend today typing everything up, and finishing bio today probably. Go out tomorrow with mousey and university company to "yum cha" and perhaps land my foot in a fob mall without parents giving me only 5 seconds to look into a game shop. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday has no plans, and Friday has very sketchy plans still, I better get that rolling then.

As for that previous entry, any pain that I felt has passed over, and healed. Any yearnings for openness with others though is always there, also new things that I think about is whether I am still a selfish person, and is what I do for self-gratification? I don't know, I have to think about it over time.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

It's been a long time since I was here, and it's been a long time since anyone visited. Well I come back on a very bad note, and so here is the latest entry.

It happened again, and it will continue to occur. The law of conservation of happiness. As much as I try create a happy life, and perhaps for those around me, it is impossible to create a place of increasing the happiness in the system we know of as society. Something has to give, happiness is not infinite. Well maybe it is if you have a loved one, but then you would probably just die if they left you in the dust, so there you go, it can apply to them too.

I suppose this is a rant page for some, and a page of theories for me. But it`s no theory of what I just said. Just look at perhaps the happiness of a selfish person makes a self-less person angry. Couples playing lovey dovey in the stairwells or halls make the people around them feel uncomfortable.

I`m bitter, I`m depressed, and I can`t let it out. I have to keep up my appearances for Christmas, for the family gathering that we actually decided to host this coming Saturday. I shouldn`t let anything out or I might hurt the one that just hurt me. I don`t want to hurt you, but yet something in me is still hurting more and more. I want to move on, but this time it is very hard. I tried so hard thinking that there was something that I could nurture, thinking the hints were meant for me. No they aren`t meant John.

I`m too hard to read, or I`m too slow, or I show something too strongly, or I don`t know the balance, or! None of those. I`m just not the type of person that is close to anyone. That is the true reason why. I`m not close to anyone, and nobody is close to me. So how can I build anything if I`m so far from people. I`ve found my problem, but I don`t know how to fix it. I can`t fix it because people are guarding themselves from bandits that take all that you hold dear, make you suffer, and run in their bliss. Well I guess that`s it. I`ll just be the peddlar that walks from fort to fort (person to person) asking for friendship, only to be thrown out because I look like a suspicious bandit.

I'm moving to xanga as I'm experimenting and the layout is fairly simple and to my liking.

Saturday, December 06, 2003

My life is currently on the line, going without my blood pressure meds for 2 days. Don`t do anything sudden or it might cost me dearly.

December 5, 2003 - 7:56PM

Life crumbles, it doesn`t explode. I have bad timing, I`m not organised enough, parents assume I don`t have a contingency plan, and I`m too anti-social still.

There are some stuck up grade 9ers in robotics that think they`re all that, but don`t even realize that they`re venturing into the competition without a brain. In addition you don`t try to steal from me >=@ Next time that kid tries that again, i swear I`m going to do more than hit his hands away from me.

Life crumbles, because the team isn`t anywhere near to unified, I guess that`s because everyone is a noob and isn`t willing to take a chance to give in or take initiative, unproductive today there =T It also crumbles because when one organises a party, everyone replies in a trickle of rejections. Should I be happy about that? I think it`s just ok that`s all, not bad or anything. I have that hope throughout the time that maybe just 1 or 2 people can come, but when they both say no simultaneously it`s not as much of a shocker or bad feeling as everyone yelling "NO!"

Parents still treat me as a a fragile sick kid. A kid that is as precious as a soap bubble, but with the capabilities of Theseus (find and kill a minotaur within a labryinth, and escape the impossible maze). If I can`t pursue what I can, want and willing to do then what is the point to my existence? Am I hear merely to suffer infront of the world, and show them that I can survive whatever damage they can inflict upon me? I WILL NOT YIELD! I will do what I can, I will do what I love to do, and I will do what keeps my sanity. That is to help people, and make them feel happy. This is what I like to do. It keeps me sane because if I wasn`t trying to do that sincerely, I`d probably let my evil corrupt mind run rampant and do evil stuff (you don`t want to know). It`s also kind of a side reason why I host planned parties at my place. I enjoy their company, and they seem to enjoy coming or being in everyone else`s company. It`s not under the setting of a school, so it`s a bit more social. That`s all for now, I`m going to do hmwk and surprise someone =P

Saturday, November 22, 2003

Ookay, another entry in less than 5 hrs. I'm typing this because something really unsual, and good (or bad) has happened.

My crush from last year, and still a very close friend of mine's Liz, called me up about 2hrs after my last entry. She was asking for help in chemistry. She's in university, and so it would have been more logical for her to know more on chemistry than me. Well she called me up and was asking if either she could come over or I come over so that I could help her out. Being at home, and bringing somebody in on the fly to "disturb the family privacy" is not a good thing, so I said I would come by to help her out at around 7:30PM (an hour and 30 minutes after the phone call). I woke my mom up to tell her to make dinner so I can go out and be on time, and it turns out that everyone delayed 30 minutes >=T So I had to call Liz back up again and delay 30 minutes. Then when it was time for me to go, Dad told me to cancel everything because it seems weird, and that he has to drive my sister back tonight. So I called Liz up AGAIN, and told her I couldn't make it because of a change in circumstances at home. Her voice sounded so sad after I told her, and I said I was available tomorrow afternoon (my heart becomes sliced here now after hearing the sadness in her voice). After that, Dad and Mom talked to me about it being too fast, and too much on the fly (Everything that goes on in this house MUST be planned before executed). Also it was pretty easy for them to guess that its possible that she likes me because supposedly, she should have better knowledge in the field of chemistry than me, or she can ask her dad (who is a chemical engineer) for help. I also kind of got that inclination, but it won't be confirmed, and now old feelings are coming back to me. It's something I'm considering just as importantly as my future in Pharmacy or Computer Science. Any crush or inclination of my liking another girl in high school currently seems to pale in comparison to what I've just experienced right now, and what seems very very close to something that may grow. Hehe I follow my own definition of love.

A crush is a seed of admiration, love is the plant that grows from it.

I guess it's also like the flower I would give to a girl. A potted tulip, it grows, it dies and leaves a bulb at the end, it needs a dormancy period of coldness, and then it grows back to its former beauty in May (month I am born in).

Wow, 2 weeks since I was here ^^;; Well that was because I was busy. Let's see, I barely passed 2 of my tests (as in just above 50%), and I think I did very badly on the midterm exam *cries* Okay well I'm better now that its not all crammed at me in about a week.

In robotics, we did pretty well for a high school, and we weren't last place when going against university teams and individuals with lots of money at fire-fighting. We rounded out 7th out of 12 competitors. For sumo robots, WE'RE #1 WE'RE #1! Although you won't see that because they DQed the robot that beat 1st place defender TWICE. Why aren't we 1st place? Because we were suppose to use the OTHER one that they didn't call. Hey we listened to you, why the heck do we get disqualifed for listening properly?! Also partner forgot to change batteries in the deciding round against 1st place defender, and we lost that round. So on the record, we rounded out 4th out of 50 teams. Now we're just going to play a few internal competitions between the members of the club, and well all the girls stuck together, and when the room was being split I wasn't paying attention and I was put in the group with all the girls. Well I'm the only guy going to help them out, since all the other guys (80% of the club) are arrogant and think that the girls know nothing (x_X say that again and both Marias will pummel you through the concrete wall). There are 4 teams, 2 teams are competiting against each other in a remote control challenge, and another 2 teams are playing with LEGO Mindstorm sets. The Lego Mindstorms teams seems to have turned into a Guys VS Girls challenge too. The 2 teams for LEGO Mindstorms need the sets and the other person with a set has got his team and I am providing the set for the girls, so I guess its appropriate that I go along with the ladies ^^

Well that's school, boring isn't it now that most of the exams and outside competitions are over. In the social sector of my life, it just gets as crazy as school. Well right after the exams atleast. I haven't seen Penguin that often in school, as she doesn't stick around Ana and Hello Kitty that much anymore. Hello Kitty I see is very very busy and after those tests she's traumatized by it and has gone to studying like crazy. =_= why does her other courses have to be project intensive instead of hmwk intensive ^^;; Yes I'd much prefer the Mount CALCULUS and PHYSICS hmwk questions over a super huge group project on physics or english. This is because with homework questions you can work on them in sub sections and attack the huge thing from different points and positions and places. With a project you have to coordinate with others (which is very hard to do if they're stubborn), and if they don't do their part, you're screwed entirely.

Hello Kitty is determined to stay in Calculus as she says she's floating above failing and wants to get back to a decent grade.

*John's thought* I'm floating in the high 70s, so I shouldn't say anything or I'll make her cry. Hey she's trying hard which is good ^_^*end of John's thought*

She also had her braces removed last week, and I was the 2nd person to see that ^_^ The first person that saw her was the teacher asking her why she skipped class, and all she needed to do was smile to show the reason ^_^ She's prettier for sure, although since it was before the midterm, I haven't seen her smile like that for quite a while.

After the midterm, you could say life was suppose to slow down. It did hmwk wise, it got more intense socially. Joe being ever determined to have Ana as a friend (he's acting like he's trying to court her too) continues to fail in his attempts. Well she's having fun messing with his mind, but she still feels queezy around Joe, and we get much more work done when he's not around =P It actually got to a point that Joe was grovelling ROFL. Yes I'm evil in that I got a piccie of that =P *Ana flashes her eye lashes and says * "You have to help me in chem and calculus!" *gets dragged by the arm to the library* @_@ I can't say no to her when she does blinks with those eye lashes. Well I still carry my own chem binder as a lead weight and reference for me to help her out. The course is still lots of PHUN and she's helpful too for Biology, so I guess it's even ^_^

Went to watch Gothika on Friday instead of Matrix: Revolutions (dang why is Larrat's parents so late all the time). Well it was suppose to be scary, but it wasn't, and they tried to do a copy of Sadako with a white girl =@ She's no where near as scary as Sadako, AND the movie was not scary, perhaps startling at times, but not scary. PLUS the audience was crap, there's a bunch of girls at the front of the theatre screaming at every scene of that girl, there's a noisy swearer at the back, and guys at the front yelling back at her. =_= that was a very bad audience but it was funny to watch the comic relief by the audience ^^;; Went to Mousey's place to play Poker, and I got beginner's luck for 1 game until Tin Tin came by and she grabbed all the luck (which costed Larrat to go into debt by about $3). Ros and Kay came too, and well I didn't know Kay was extremely ticklish. Well her face of terror when we were about to tickle her is priceless. Ros held her down and she told us to poke. Then Larrat and I were like " Poke or not poke?" Well got 1 pic of mousey, and Ros trying to tickle Kay. that was fun, and then we all had to go home =D

Now is the weekend and all I have to do is a bunch of physics questions and finish that Biology challenge XD I love Biology especially since most of this course is Biochemsitry XDXD I'm reconsidering whether I should go into Pharmacy or Computer Science. The Computer Science industry is saturated, and Pharmacy looks pretty good since my Bio mark is 92, and my Chem mark is 86 (would be 92 if I didn't slack off). So I have 6 weeks to decide my future ^^;;

Short term futurewise, I wonder what Maria is planning for the upcoming day off from school the coming Friday. Well I think everyone (meaning RL friends) should try and help her out a bit. She doesn't like to do everything by herself, as she may end up coordinating and not having any fun at all =T so help out guys and we can all have fun together =D

Saturday, November 08, 2003

Hmmm, I think I got a sign from somebody up there, trying to direct me where to go. Last night after going to sleep at 0100 I had a very quick nightmare to wake me up. Basically a bumble bee lands on me while riding my bike back home, and I dust it away. It comes back and trys to sting my right arm. It stings the clothing around my arm, and not skin, but its stinger is still trying to find my skin. I wake up before when I feel the stinger touching my skin. That's nothing to be concerned about really, but it was successful in getting me out of my slumber real quick.

Here's where it becomes unusual, I found that my head was under the blanket, and I saw a light from above the blanket. I uncovered the blanket from my head and wonder why the light isn't bright like a flashlight. I suppose you can call me crazy from this point onward, but what I saw was not light eminating from a flashlight or anything. It was light just floating in my room. What I saw were outlines of Penguin's MSN AV flying out of my house with a beaver looking outline behind it. I also saw this very large outline of a Hello Kitty on the ceiling just floating there (very big, about the size of my bed). Then a Miffy bunny starts swirling and floating around with the Hello Kitty. I try to focus my eyes because I'm not wearing my glasses, and then the Hello Kitty fades away, and the bunny starts to make that trail pattern that you see when you wave you fingers infront of a CRT monitor. Eventually the bunny disappears too, and that was the end of that vision.

I go back to sleep wondering whether I interpretted that properly. I wake up the next morning (today) to eat breakfast, and take my drivers written test. I passed with 3 errors @_@ another 3 errors and I'd be toast. Dad takes me to dollar store to go on a cheap, and fun shopping spree, and takes me out to lunch (since driving all the way home would have me eat a very very late lunch). While on our way back after lunch, our car is stopped by traffic lights at the intersection next to Markville Mall on McCowan with a Red Honda Civic infront of us. Crossing the street, I notice that IT'S HELLO KITTY and her mom crossing the street! Well I didn't open the window or anything to yell "Hi" because I bet those two are going to go to Markville for their own little shopping spree. Hehe Hello Kitty looked pretty excited when running across the road with her mom ^^

Now I'm home and studying Calculus, Physics and doing a Biology lab instead of going to visit my sister downtown with my family. That's all for now, I just had to put everything above down before I forget it in an ocean of optimization and momentum problems.

Friday, November 07, 2003

ow ow ow, shoulders are killing me @_@ That mountain of Calculus and Physics is really heavy. Plus going to the bank to depost money walking 3km takes a long time (and is tough on the shoulders since I carry my backpack as well). D-boat is fun, although I didn't workout to the point of PAIN, just to the point of stiffness. Isolated a penguin at school for around 3 minutes, but failed to ask her out as the hallways are too noisy. Atleast I know that we both hate the architect of our crumby school for making the hallways bottleneck at the point of greatest conjestion =@ *sigh* she's very cute, and very attractive, unfortunately she's not very open like a hello kitty in the area.

The Hello kitty almost completely opens up those opportunities. She even talked about semi-formal and prom to me commenting that she doubts the quality of these dances (well its based on one of her friends going to prom, and my good opinion is based on every single one of my friends and classmates who went to prom last year) , and that she would like to only see other dress up but not herself. However, she believes from her friends that they'll all not be worth the pay into it. I accidentally asked if she'd like to go to semi-formal after her little rant (I didn't say "with me" but more in the manner of whether she was even interested in going) @_@ My talking rolls too much without stopping to think of the consequences of saying

"Do you want to go to semi-formal?" <--That was exactly what I said to the hello kitty.

On another note, that friend (let's call him Joe) I accidentally introduced to another of my friends (let's call her Ana) continues his pursuit to get Ana to like him. ROFL its fun to watch them fight like an old married couple, and now he's becoming a bit forward in his actions (e.g. he put his arm around her shoulder today) ROFL at Ana's reaction (duck and run behind me asking for me to be a barrier) *gets the evil eyes from both* ^^;; not my fault that friends from my different circles of my life are tangent to the point where they met (charity fundraiser)^^;;

Calculus doesn't look that big anymore, its just 16 optimisation problems. Physics is the real problem still as I don't have a lot of time to finish that (4 days to do about 80 questions). Biology lab due monday, but it looks very much like a physics formal lab. So if I follow that, I should be done that in 4 hrs.

Also today in biology class it's sooo freaky. Maria looks almost exactly like Freya today. Wearing mostly black, and her hair with 2 pigtails behind and banks over her forehead. Anyone could mistake her Freya if she had the console plug covers at her ears, and if her hair was long, and blond instead of shoulder length and black. Either way she still looked quite cute.

Off of reality now, I had a very vivid (well not vivid anymore since it's been about a week now), about the penguin. It's posted in the dreams section of my blog. Well off to play with calculus problems, and study for drivers test, and do physics and biology. I'll see y'all later ^_^

Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Why is John going super nuts by blogging when he has a test in 12hrs!!! Ok just a quick update, blah blah blah, mount calculus and physics rising ever higher, bio mark is exploded through the roof ^^ Maria likes me as a friend only (that's good), tests, exams in 2 weeks, started studying, SATs done, eww the marks, but then I didn't study for those. Lots of fun, going through life as normal being the Nova I am I push myself too far all the time and go Supernova (good or bad depends on how far I go).

That's all really, downloading Inu Yasha(so many), Scryed (so cool), and RK (so slow). Playing Mechwarrior 2 for my PS1, and got a new scanner all for myself =P I can scan my negatives now instead of the prints.

BTW if Roman stops by, or if anybody sees him, tell him that I currently only have PS1 games ranging from the Crash series, Gran Turismo 1 and 2, 2 Army men games, and a few other odds and ends. I WANT THAT MACROSS PLUS BOOTLEG ROMAN!!! Hahaha otherwise I'll go get a legit copy off of ebay =P

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Okay, it's a very very very very very very long time since I actually posted here. Well that's probably because I was updating my AA site instead of this site =P Did the 2nd physics test earlier this month, and did a calculus test too. My Physics mark is now an 88%, that's nothing new, I've had that average before, I need to break what I call the 90 barrier. I've only gotten to the 90 barrier (that's because it was Computer Science), but I haven't been pasted it!

Oh well, had a great party last week, since I don't have the opportunity to do so on Halloween. I can't because I have SATs November 1st =_= I HAD to schedule for that day, and not later or earlier. Oh well, another dissappointment to deal with. Well all is normal, I still do my hmwk diligently, I still talk, and chat with friends, and I'm still well involved in school (which explains my lack of online interaction outside of my RL friends). That's all for now, I'm not dead or anything, I'm just a bit busy with the environment around me =D

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Okay, so it's suppose to be election day, and there's lots of hype as to what has been foreseen for many months. Conservatives are taking the boot. So it's another bad day today, well it's because of many things. For starters, we got our physics test back, and my knowledge section is just terrible. I made so many stupid calculation errors that it cost me 30% of my knowledge grade. Also, my student ID is all wrong. The picture is the same as it is every year, but the homeroom is wrong this year because I changed my class before the semester started. Well that's really all that's bad about school. Well I helped Andre Thompson out with his molecular Biology lab, as we're old friends, and he's a good guy, just that he's forgetful. I still have his disk that contains all of his molecules except for polypeptide, and he forgot to pick it up. Oh well, I'll give it to him tomorrow in class. I go to pick up the photos, and remember that I had dropped off an old set of film there along with the one from Tuesday. Well I pick both up, and as I look at the pictures I took on the PA day, I see how terrible I am at photography. I can't take a picture of people in action. I have the wrong angles, and I have obstacles always in the way when I take pictures, and it just makes everything look bad. I can't do this anymore. The pictures I will take will only be staged, objects or scenics (I still do well in this section). But people on John's candid camera will seize to exist.

Onee-chan (Elder sister) comes home which is nice, and she's always getting prettier when she comes home. Well I found out today that somebody she loved, was just playing with her feelings. This is the first time she actually fell in love, and the first time she's been hurt so badly. She's depressed about this (which can explain the change from pastel colours, to all dark colour clothing) and she asked me what's wrong with her. Just as I am I point out something that we can try to fix. Our parents brought us up in the way that we protect ourselves. This makes us more distant from other people, and others really do not know our true character. It's like what Onee-chan's friend said to her, and applies to me as well. "You've created a wall around you." Well Onee-chan did create more than a wall. She created a fortification so great, that no regular guy would attempt to reach into her heart. You have to be heavenly good, or Satanically evil to attempt to see peek into her heart. Unfortunately this time, it was an extremely evil guy that delved into her heart, and damaged it greatly. Onee-chan gave me a few pointers as what NOT to do when in pursuit of a girl.

I probably should make more clear around school about the girl I like. Not in the way of vocal expression, but merely how I interact with other girls besides that one person. I won't avoid or anything, but I shouldn't be so yielding to those that aren't the one I'm after. The girl I seek I see she is honest (but reserved), supportive and positive (but sometimes at the cost of her own postive thinking), forgiving but she makes sure the lessons are learned, understanding of the complex but she too needs to be understood too, and she is direct, but not unsociable. The most important quality in our family and something that I am willing to place into her is trust. Whether I can gain her trust is another story for her to tell. Besides, "we'll see" the conclusion to this, and it turning out with me failing is okay. We risk, we learn, we grow, and we pass on. It is the way life was meant to be.

Monday, September 29, 2003

*cough cough* =( I have a cold. My first one in more than a year. Anyways, what happened in the past few 2 weeks? Well Friday was sooo much fun, despite the rain =P catch me online, and I'll tell you how much fun, but as always, such joys never last, or are clouded by bad news that comes after it. There wasn't a lot that happend until my doc's appointment on the Wednesday. They told me my bone density was down, and I should increase the intake of calcium. ='( I have signs of Osteoperosis and I'm only 18 years old ='( Well that was bad news. Take the Thursday Calculus test, and I think I forgot to invert the graph when I was drawing it =( There goes my chances for a perfect score.

*cough cough*
Friday was suuper cold, and I was half frozen from riding my bicycle to school. Then right before Calculus starts, some Grade 9 kid coughs on me! Show some respect to your elders, and did anybody teach you to cough away from people, not at people! Grrr *cough cough* I know where I got this cold from. Well friday also had no calculus class as our teacher was at her twin sister's wedding. Hmmm, it seems a lot of people are getting married at this time of year. Well after school (that means 1:00PM and later), I rented Bionicle Mask of Light for my little brother, and I rented Gasaraki for myself =D Rode back to school to start the first Robotics Club meeting of the year. Wow, a turnover of 35 people. Well that's to be expected, whether 20% of them stay with the club to the end of the year is a different matter^^;; I missed the school's anime club meeting though because my friend just HAD to designate Fridays for Anime club. Grrr, she knows that Fridays is ALWAYS Robotics, and it's been like that for the past 3 years! Oh well, they came by Robotics because my meeting wasn't just a sign up day, it was also to brainstorm ideas on what to do during the year. They came, they said they didn't need to sign the sheet because I knew who my friends were, and their e-mail addresses. True, and then the supervisor asks a friendly question of what type of robots they like. So Maria answers "Destructive stuff?" Haha, yah that was a laugh since we all like those kind of things =P Well I turn back to organise a bit, have one of the executives take control of fund raising, the other take control of money, and I coordinate =D Well when I turn around, I already see that one of my friends has disappeared, and the President of Anime club (my friend), starts sneaking away. She even crouched down and started crawling away, while at the same time dragging Maria away. =( Is the club that scary? Oh well, that's ok I guess.

*cough cough*
Saturday I spent sleeping, eating, and finishing any biology and playing with limits for Calculus. I also watched Mask of Light with my brother, since I had a slight interest in the movie too. The movie has very nice graphics I can say =D Not photorealistic, but it is pretty realistic for LEGO =D I found out today was a beautiful day, and that Maria saw a really nice sunset on her way back from the Mall, and my dad and brother were outside at around the same time to get a view and feel of the good weather. It was even clear too. =( No beautiful sun for me, but I did see the stars outside at around 2:00AM. Since I sletp 4hrs during the day, I could stay up that late.

*cough cough*
Sunday was the same, except with physics, and I had enough energy to go for a walk. I seem to cough less outside, then I do inside. Also when I did go outside it was around dusk, so I got to see a really nice view of the sun beaming through some of the clouds covering the sky. I notice that the best scenes and times in our lives are never caught on film. If you actively try to catch them, they don't become the best. Since you are anticipating that something will happen, and not enjoying the moment. Soo, I will finish the film in my camera, develop that film, and stop actively searching for a good shot, and look more for a good time. =D

MONDAY *COUGH COUGH CHOKE*!! There's this form of evaluation that gives out BIG quizzes, or small tests in our school. We either call it a Quest, or a testlet. Anyways, everyone was under the impression that we could do the evaluation in half a period. When we enter the class, it somehow magically transforms into a full fledged 8 page test! What the hell, and I'm still coughing and sick. Well it also seems that a good number of other people including the physics teacher are all sick too (divine retribution?). At the end of the test, I am not sure how I got to Calculus, but I know I had a very very big headache after the test. @_@ I'm glad Calculus is just a continuation of limits, and how do you find them if they exist or not -_- Biology is always fun, and today was just note taking on the cell membrane and the various forms of transport between the membrane. Talk to a few friends after class, and go home to eat and watch another 2 eps of Chobits. I don't have lots of time to watch anime. And I can't stay up late to watch it. I need to sleeeep and rest and recover from this cold *cough cough* That's all for now, *cough cough* time to rest up and recover.

Friday, September 19, 2003

Okay, so about 2 weeks since I've been online sooorry for not coming online, but I've been extremely busy with school =D

Well let's see here, it's around 8:00AM in the morning, and I am reading the weather maps because the tail end of Hurricane Isabel is suppose to hit. WAAAH!!!! It's disrupting my meeting with friends today. The heavy stuff should hit Toronto in about an hour =T That's 1 hour before the meeting =T Anyways, why is John so busy in school? Well #1 the physics teacher always seems to have labs on Tuesdays, and they are usually due the next class. So I usually only have 24hrs to do a lab, while the well organised AP class gets a whole weekend =T I should've joined AP but that would contradict why I tried to get 1st, 2nd 3rd period sched, and have guidance question the true extent as to how severe my illness is. Oh well, things seem to be getting a little better as this week she gave us an extra day to do this week's lab as we didn't get our labs back from last week yet either (she must have too much to mark =D). Calculus is just waaaay too much fun right now, as we're just doing the Remainder, and Factor Theorem, Sum and product of quadratic roots, and now we're doing polynomial inequalities.

How about social life.... Well that seems to have merged with studying as my friends are also my study buddies XD Haha, ok so lots of fun of fun with them watching anime, studying, playing, snapping eeeevil piccies of friends being a clutz, or making somebody that is cute and innocent look EEEVIL (I did that, and now she'll kill me if I ever scan that pic). Hehe, things are still looking up except I couldn't get much sleep last night.

Monday, September 08, 2003

August 29, 2003
Today is the last day of summer holidays. I have spent the last day enjoying it to the point that I find it miserable. I converted the DVD Inu Yasha - The Love that Transcends Time, and I played serveral fighting games with my friends. We discussed a little about school, and enjoyed each other's company. The day went like this, Wake up at 8:00AM and start converting. Read and reply to Maria's nice e-mail. Chat a ton with Serge who will be in university studying exactly what I will next year for university =D Eat lunch at 1:00PM, and finish the convert at around 2:30PM Review the burn and copy the disks to permanent copies (I make sure my products are of the best quality available XD) Cherry, Mihan, and Nanting all show up earlier than expected (about 30 minutes earlier o_O) and Lirad shows up on time at 5:00PM as usual.

Dad and mom come back fairly late, and that means it was time for us to all go to Cherry's place for dinner, although we changed plans and wanted to play GGX2 (since it's much easier than Tekken 3). I wasn't prepared to go out right there and then, and so I was holding everyone back ='( Anyways, when I got out, I went to take my bike, and catch up with them. However, when I was crossing the street, I saw a car and thought I could go faster than it. So I took the risk to race faster than the car across the street. I wasn't faster, but the car stopped behind me to let me pass. If he didn't stop, I'd probably be in a Hospital ICU.

Play a ton in GGX2 at Nanting's place, and beat Nanting once with Anji XD (Yes, she didn't take defeat by Anji with a newbie like me very well). Anyways, we left at around 7:10PM and at around that time Karen calls Nanting about training (I think it's for Dragonboat), and well we all just left o_O SOOO Nanting's mom runs out to chase Nanting, and Nanting gets the message. ANYWAYS, we all trekked to the school sign because that was the last place the 3 met. We debated on whether somebody should wait there, or somebody should find her and tell her that Mihan and Nanting aren't going to practice. Anyways, we debated long enough that she came anyways to the school sign and saw us there XD So she joined our party to Cherry's place for dinner, and fun =D

Anyways we got to Cherry's at around 7:40PM and Lirad kind of ran to the TV to watch ET. Also, we got a call from Stephanie who was with Lucy and Lior just a little after we arrived. Sooo we invited them too to come with us =D They arrived fairly quickly and we chatted for a while. Then we looked at Cherry's fixed Gundam Hellcustom Deathscythe (The parts still need sanding and trimming after you clip them from their frames) Also those stickers need their air pushed out or they'll peel off in about a month. Oh well, it's still very very nice (better than my RX-78 that doesn't have its stickers). Took a look at Cherry's drawings, and where she put her posters from Anime Expo up in her room. She only put up the Samurai X poster though ^^;; Anyways, we came back to the dining area for dinner and ate a Vegetable soup and Spaghetti with Tomato and meat sauce. I could taste the salt which is good for taste, and bad for my kidney =T

After dinner we watched the MTV awards that Mihan taped, and exchanged stuff such as I getting Frank's circulating Rahxephon series =D We finally came up to the final event of the evening which is the movie that I had completed burning this morning (if played on an HDTV the resolution is 800x480). Since Inu Yasha was in such a high resolution, there was 0 degradation in pixels when watched on the standard 640x480 TV screen. An entertaining movie with the perfect mix of action, comedy and romance. Now everyone wants to watch the series, and I want to redownload the 1st season of the series that I lost to my Hard Drive Crash right before last semester's Data Management presentation.

That was Friday, Saturday was spent reading the newspaper, and swimming at the Elgin pool like every Saturday. BUT this time I saw Mustafa there and I got to talk to him a bit. I'll pick up that Physics AP binder later this week.

Sunday was spent bike riding in the morning, and going out in the afternoon to see if we can buy the cheap monitor for 159$ at Staples. We got there to find TONS of stupid people cramming to buy their school supplies for their kids. We found the a cheap monitor, at 147$ and this cheaper one is flat screen (the 159 isn't), and has a nicer design (silver VS black). We also found a set of computer speakers that were 15$ which are much better than my stereo speakers in my room ^^;; Anyways, we waited in line to buy our stuff, and then we stopped by Future Shop for that 10$ network router for me to network the computers. IF some of you are wondering WHY I need all this stuff, THEN it is because I am the one that takes care of the 2 computers in the house (one of the receiving the speakers and monitor to declare it a complete 2nd computer) and I will soon become the Network Administrator of the house as soon as I start networking them =D

In preparation for the networking, I was thinking I was going to spend a SMALL amount of time fixing up the old computer (the one in my room). I was trying to restore sound to this unstable computer. Well first I was forced out by my parents to go for anothe bike ride, which turned out to be beneficial and fun. Then back to this task, and I spent the whole day reinstalling windows a few times, reseting a few times, running in safe modes, running in DOS. I even got to the point where I formatted the Hard Drive and upgraded the Operating System. Formatting is always a last resort to recovering a damaged system. So now the computer is much better, but it has nothing on it. Even when I did upgrade, and the computer is now stable, there was still no sound. I found the problem at 10:00PM at night after dinner and some rest. It was one dinky little jumper setting in the computer!!!!! Just push in the jumper setting to Enable Audio, and that fixed it!!!! I wasted the entire Labour Day labouring over such a tiny and simple problem!!!! Well atleast I can say I had a good night's rest that evening knowing that all I need now is a 25ft. network cable to get online. That's why I'm not online very much for the moment. I'm doing Homework, and I'm also waiting to network the computers. Once the computers are online, I'll be online much more often.

Well now comes Tuesday and it's the first day of school =D Walk my brother to school, and see nostalgic Bernard public school in all it's school bustlings. Speed walk back to school, and talk around to find out who's where, and who's back from last year and who's taking their 3rd semester of grade 12 =D Physics was fairly boring as it was just a review on sig figs *yawns* Into Calculus, and people I recognize would be Steph (I already you were going to be in this class from Friday =D Rebecca (ooh, yay I should say "Hi" to you sometime ^^;;) and Victor (Hehe, more mathematical Rossism fun)! Wheee that' was a fun class with the first bit of work being Calculus and Analytic Geometry =D Yes I was reeally nerdy in that class finding some of the problems that people thought were difficult, I thought were fuuun XD 11:30 and it's already going to be my last class of the day =D Soo this is biology with Charters =D Finally my first class with the Bio department head. I've had a class with the all the department heads except for bio XD Anyways more like my mind blanked out at the first site of extremely pretty and cute Maria (jaw droppingly and droolingly pretty, but I didn't drool as I realized that my mouth was already agape). Although that didn't last long as she reminded me of my Calculus homework (I'm sure you'll get more than me tomorrow =T), and then I screwed up as I haven't done any Chem review since 1st semester of last year X| Also I started to quiet down because my stomach was becoming more vocal (I only had toast and milk for breakfast), and I was getting tired (Not that great of a sleep, but still better than my sleep during the summer. I'm glad to be back in school not because I can escape my little brother =p It's because I am now not bored out of my mind like in summer. I spent the 1st month doing Discrete, and the 2nd month doing pre-Calculus (which explains my super speed today in Calculus =p) Also I get better sleeps during school because I'm exhausted beyond consciousness during the year, and in summer I have too much energy to burn that I stay up until 1:00AM thinking about stuff (robots, myself, people, society).

Well life is getting better and better, and it's not coming to me just on it's own. It looks that way to some people, but I still think that there are atleast 2 factors to that. One is that I have planned the school schedule of this year ever since my illness relapsed in April of 2002. 2nd my reintegration into society is somewhat radical from my previous attempts. I'm not being so uptight and fearful of people looking at me weird, I kind of like being told by Victor "John, you are now not qualified to put up anymore answers on the board." XD 3rd I'm sure God planned this, or has heard my prayers to help me, throughout a critical time in my life, and lastly I don't sit here and do nothing you know!!!! So now I just need to keep this up for another 5 years and I'll be free XD

Friday, August 22, 2003

Blah, John is going to be philosophical and contemplative.

I can't start from where I left off last entry, but I'd much rather just throw everything out as I think. I want to do it this way because it will show you how unorganised my mind is.

Right now, I'm in trouble for staying up on the computer too long and too late. That's because the computer is in Dad's room and so while I'm chatting with Serge, BJ, and Maria Dad was disturbed by all the typing and light. The computer in my room will probably not be built for quite some time because of this show of overuse. I have shown to my parents my irresponsible behaviourof being on the internet. How will I amend it? I will just simply cut off for a while, that's all. Agh, I stayed up 2 nights in a row chatting with BJ, Serge and Maria.

So I spent more time doing that, now what? I'm hosting tonight's movie night (Cowboy Bebop the movie). Also I have to call up everyone to confirm that they'll meet me on SUNDAY at 0920 at Bernard Station. Although calling calling Stephanie just about the times for everyone to meet there has her parents/siblings bothering, and gossiping amongst themselves thinking I'm dating her. Do I have to yell out "I'M IN LOVE WITH MARIA!" (atleast I think I am, I don't really know what I feel).

Now I'll probably get the "I don't know who you are" type of reaction from her for saying what I feel ;_; I'd love to bring you out of your cage (if I remember to bring that topic up again), and you don't have to change for me, You are perfect the way you are to me. *sigh* romance is the unhappy process of trying to find absolute acceptance. Social interactions is just the bad gossip that arises from general friendship (if they are of the opposite sex).

Before anyone thinks about saying I'm such a nice guy:
What I know is that when I told her I like her, I could try a pathos tactic to get what I want from Maria, but it would not be a relationship if I did that. Since I would be forcing her to stay with me out of pity. It is best to leave it for her to decide. However, as I have learned in Robotics, always account for the worst. So one of the blocking variables is that she is suspicious of my motives. I guess if she wants to know what I want in return, I guess I could say for her to love me back. BUT that may be asking too much, or I may be asking for what she doesn't feel. EEEE, the conflict that arises from knowing. A relationship can not be one-sided, and starting up is always the most difficult threshold to pass since nobody can put their finger on what they feel until after many hours of contemplating (which many do not have that much time to do). Also there are those that are after other things. Most men can not control themselves in their LUST for power, control and sex. They use their knowledge to lure innocent girls to stay with them (e.g. Wilson and Samantha HAHAHA). The world is corrupt to the point that every woman fears what the man's motives are for being nice. The evil live off of the innocent and gullible, while the good and genuine gentlemen suffer from distrust. I am neither of those because I am aware of the evil, and very capable of using it. However, I am good in that I expose the evil, and help you to make an informed decision. If you don't return my feelings Maria, it's absolutely all right. Not all endeavors are successful and "You get use to it. =D" or what is more appropriate for me"God has placed me through many hardships, so enduring this shouldn't be a problem. =D Don't feel bad if I feel bad, it just makes things worse. The happier you are brings content to me because I will not have left any scars to anyone. " I shall fade in and out of the lives of people as I always have with the exception of family.

More notes: As with anything in life, I do not know when to stop. That's why my saying of 11 is very important to my life. It reminds me to never push my limits, becauuse only destruction has come from it.

A few last points after reading other blogs

I notice that my family lacks the balance of caring. We don't know how to balance between caring for our family, and caring for ourselves. We are usually either 1 extreme or the other. I think I am too selfish, but my family keeps telling me that I'm the complete opposite. I'm too yielding to others. I'm confused, and dazed at the many observations I've made. There's more, but my head hurts now.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Haha, just a useless quiz post =D

You are Neo
You are Neo, from "The Matrix." You
display a perfect fusion of heroism and

What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

Sunday, August 17, 2003

Okay, so I haven't typed in here for about a week, as it pretty much follows the frequency of my Hard Copy journal.

This entry was made on August 15 of the hard copy:
I was preoccupied with lots of other stuff. I'm still on track of my math and I will finish exactly half the textbook at the end of the summer. I'll try to work on ti during the school year with the same pace as I have currently. That'll be 1 hour less for my games and surfing the web. I also should spend my spares for school work so that I can open up the time after school for upcoming clubs. I finished the film in my camera on wednesday, but I think lots of photos are overexposed, because I left the settings of my camera to manual shutter. I still have to apply for SATs, but I don't have a credit card to charge it on. I'll ask mommy tomorrow so I can sign up.

I got a message from Mustafa today, and I'll get Norton Antivirus back! Yay! I can get the computer fully proteceted for school. Although Blaster worm has already passed. I'll get Windows washer, and ad-aware to improve the performance of the computer. Also, the DVDs I'm going to burn should be fairly quick, since they are each 1 movie file (and not 2 like the one's I've been burning recently).

I couldn't get RK: Requiem for Patriots because I was being STUPID. I did multimedia intensive stuff while converting. That made the process slower, and it messed up when things got really resource draining. I did this twice and on my 3rd try, a blackout happens. I thought it was another ordinary blackout, like the one in June where only our area was affected. It turns out the entire Eastern Seaboard was affected. The worst part of it was when it came time to get out. If mommy wasn't walking along Queen, if Betty wasn't checking out St. Michael's, and if Daddy wasn't driving through there, there'd be a missing family member at home today. When power did go out, I instantly grabbed all the flashlights, in the house, and deposited them in the living room, along with the radio, and my mp3 CD player, and the pair of battery operated speakers that I got from HK last year.

Afterwards, I had fun playing piano, and all the songs I know how to play. I did Hanon exercises, and then I became tired from playing. So I went to take a nap, and fell asleep for 3 hours. I wake up at 8:00PM and race against the falling sun to get candles lit. Family came home at this time, and Dady tried to turn the security system off. Instead he set it off when he punched the panel. We had to go to the point of cutting the wires to turn it off. We setup candles, took a shower, and ate a warm dinner in candle light. When we opened the windows to let cool air in, the sky was clearer thna glass. The stars shone brightly in the sky, with the full moon brightening everything on the ground. I also think we saw mars as the bright star next to the moon. We ate up as much Ice cream as we could. I took the softest one of teh 4. Why? Because I don't mind letting my family receiving better. Maybe that's what caring for family is.

When the family assembled to sleep at 12:00AM after watching the night sky, I saw jet fighters streak and fly above the sky. They were definitely fighter because no regular airplane can go that fast, with such a small turning radius. The family all settled into their warm beds except for I. I tried to get comfortable, and maybe slept for 2 hours. I woke up, thinking why did this happen, and it looks like a terrorist attack. The lack of accurate information implies this. Well teh government has corrected this, and showed us that a bad network of power centres is the cause (when a power station goes down, don't redirect the load to other strained plants!).

I still didn't get sleep even after pondering the previous paragraph. My mind was insecure and worrisome. I prayed to God for safety of myself, family, friends and the one I care for (implying Maria specifically). I then actually did get to sleep for another 2 hours after that prayer. I wake up to a scenario that is very much a fantasy, and yet is quite realistic. Under the circumstance that Maria likes me, I could be shunned by her parents as taking her away from them. Of course conflict arises, and a relationship would not exist. However, I will continue my life cold as ice. I couldn't stop thinking about the scenario, and I also could not stop thinking about how she is currently doing in the blackout. I then remembered that I have not taken my blood pressure meds, which is the cause for all my "bad sleep nights. " I quickly take them, and I start to doze. My blood pressure med has dizziness as a side effect. This is good to help go to sleep.

However, my eventful night does not end there. I have a very vivid dream, with many things that are noticeable. There's an unusual organism spreading and growingon everything. It spreads like the Medusa bug from Reboot, and it consumes life like the demons from Princess Monoke. The spell is more like turning everyone to some kind of plant. I find that everyone is being consumed, and I myself am about to be consumed. I am cradling corn (that seems to come from My Neighbour Totoro), and I can tear the spell away from myself, and the corn. After cleaning myself and the corn, I have morphed into a cougar. There is also a mane of tusks around my head, and tusks coming from my legs. I am now watching myself run to a girl/woman being consumed. I revert to seeing through the eyes of the beast, and in a frantic panic try to tear the spell from her. However, each time I tear away the spell, it regenerates and grows more. After I fail to save the girl, I morph back to my normal self in reality. Eventually I fail, and I notice that I am the only one left in that world who still has control over myself. Everyone else has been consumed by this wood medusa bug. All that is left is a fresh ripe corn that survived with me.

That was just Thursday too. Friday I wake up at a reasonable time and I'm surprised we have pancakes for breakfast. Well if we didnt have the gas stove, my family would be like all my other friends. Today isn't very eventul because power was restored at 12:20PM. Before that I was playing piano, and doing math. As soon as a light went on, we set the fridge to maximum freeze, and the air conditioner to cool and always on. We also turned on the computer and I checked my mail, Mustafa make a reply to give my CD back and I sent out message to the tutorial participants that today's meeting is cancelled. I was able to contact everyone except for Cherry. She came, but I had to tell her that the meeting is cancelled. So she had to call for a ride home, and meanwhile I gave her the itinerary for Anime Expo that I created (hopefully another person may come ^_^). I discussed with her the times and why it's sunday (she has sunday worship to attend to usually). So she'll think about it. After she left, I did some clean up, mop the floor and burn a mp3 Cd of the new songs I've recently downloaded. AFter that came the news, and dinner. As I was eating though, Nanting calls my cell to probably ask if I wanted to go to Cherry's place and watch a movie. I couldn't receive the call though because my cell phone ring is not very loud (and I've already set it to the loudest). I didn't see that my phone had a missed call until around 10:00PM (2 hours after the call). I called Nanting's place, only to hear from her father that she's out. So I call Cherry's place and find her there (I knew they'd gather there!). I guess I have unusually good intuition to track people just by phone calls. Well while I was writing the hard copy of this, they were watching Castle in the Sky, waah, i love that movie (which is why i have a legitamate version of it) because the storyline is soo cool, the drawings, musc are beautiful. The robots, and airships are reminder of Megaman Legends, my favourite game, and Laputa as well. Well we'll decide whether we watch Gundam Wing Endless Waltz, Rurouni Kenshin: Requiem for Patriots, Macross Plus, or Macross: Do You Remember Love in the meetings to come.

Monday, August 11, 2003

There's an update further down the entry!
Okay, I'm changing my layout back to fairly simple. I also took down my tagboard because it doesn't serve any function to me anymore as well. IF you want to make a comment, or ask question about entries. Please send an e-mail to linus_11vf1a@yahoo.com

Well I'll keep the webring, since that's okay, for the moment.

Another great week, it has been again. I did all my work, and we even got that new DVD-player that we were looking at for FREE!!!! It's part of a Best Buy Promotion to sell the TV we just bought. So we went back for a price match, and got the DVD player for free. Yay!!!! This site will be linked to my angelfire website, so people can access it there. Nothing much that's new, just that I'll be spending less time on the computer, and more time at Dad's work bench making my airplane, or at the TV playing video games.

Update: Hey I forgot that today was August 11 because I was so happy already ^_^ Well it was a baad day for lots of my friends today. Serge bombed his computer twice, and now he screwed it up and it crashes every time he starts up IE. My other friend Benjamin had to hassle his boss to CANCEL the order we made on knives that was suppose to be canceled 5 days ago (Stupid boss didn't cancel the order, and tried to pull a fast one on us by even packaging the order on friday to get it ready to send out today). Hehe, well Ben went through a lot of trouble, and I thank him for his efforts. I took a look at why some of my DVD burns didn't work. It just so happens that I burned them in PAL, so they'd work in Asia and Europe, but not here in North America ^^;; Well I now have Macross Plus on 2 DVDs that I want to give away XD I reburned the first 2 episodes today and I got permanent working copy for the North American NTSC standard ^_^ It still takes 10hrs to do this though -__- I have 4 days to get a background image, and 2 item images for the Samurai X the Movie DVD I plan to burn for the friday's tutorial, and I also have to finish the other 2 eps of Macross Plus by this Friday! o_O tight schedule. Hehe, there's also Anime Expo coming to Toronto at Metro Convention Centre. I'm going to try and gather my friends along so we can all go ^_^ Also why didn't my mom tell me if she knew about it >: Anyways, I know Daniel will be there (he's the one that told me ^_^), and I'll see if people in the tutorial are willing to come^_^

Anyways, if anybody notices, I am changing a bit. I had to go to Endocrine last friday to get checked at which stage of puberty I was in @_@ Apparently, I'm developing later than the average guy, and I'm at around a year or 2 slower than the average population. Which would explain my immunity to sluts in the school, and my ability to concentrate in school despite all the show of skin. It would also explain my recent rush of crush this past and still seems to continue. Yes, I am also losing the immunity and concentration ability AND this is the WRONG time for that to happen #_# Well I've compensated for that by studying the entire summer holiday on MATH, and improving my social skills with my friends. So the school work load should be significantly reduced, and I won't feel so down in school that would be due to loneliness. Improved Moral, and knowledge base makes for an easier and better school year ^_^ I just said another secret to good grades ^_^ Another tip that is often never done is study atleast a week before exams, and 3 days before tests :D I do that, and I also eat tons of starch and sugar which is then consumed during those evaluations, and I never grow parallel to the earth anymore ^___^ LOL

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

August 5, 2003
Wahoo!!! August is a lucky month!!! Well it usually is for Chinese people^^;;
If you don`t want a run down of everything just skip to the Sunday 2nd paragraph, read that, and then skip to Reflections.

Friday was a very productive day. I woke up, ate, went to do math. I had a feeling the last section before the review was going to take longer than I estimated. Dad got lots of chores done while I was asleep, and when I woke up all I needed to do was clear the diswasher. That is because he said he`d take care of the rest. Ate lunch, went back to finishing up my math, and when I finished, my dad took me out to get the movie for the night`s outing with friends. Ate dinner, and went to Cherry`s place for study. Of course, while we`re waiting for everyone to come, we listened to Yuen and Cherry play FF music, and other cool stuff. After everyone has been assembled, we started on data management (few minutes), and went straight to Calculus. Yay, we learned the first principle of Derivatives and limits!!! I`ll be teaching Discrete later the next week, and so I have to get a lesson plan done. We watched Samura X, which is I think the OAV prequel to Rurouni Kenshin. A romance that seems so touching to me. It does have a lesson on moderation and balance of life. Do I have a balance in life? That is a question to be asked everyday. It is what can bring a person closer totheir goals, contentment and happiness. Perhaps that`s why I`m pursuing Commerce and Computer Science. Or it could be my own conscious desire to get away from home ^^;; After the movie we talked about our anime obsessions. Cherry with Gundam Wing and especially Duo, Mihan`s obsession with Final Fantasy, its music and Terra, and my obsession with Macross, Macross Plus, and their Vertech fighters. I like Macross Plus a lot, as its message is very clear, and a dedication to what many (such as myself) strive for.

Saturday was a fun day. It has been a long time since I swam before. I can still swim super fast in freestyle (thanks to my US size 11W or US Size 11EE feet). I improved my back stroke, and spent quite a bit of time just floating and swimming on my back. Afterwards, the same family tradition continued. BUY DOUGHNUTS!!!! There goes any weight loss ^^;; Oh well, that`s okay since my activity and metabolism always exceed my consumption. I went to go download more Glay Songs, and then ate dinner. After dinner, I cleaned my room (not very messy, but it still took 5 minutes to clean), surf the web, and I read a funny site about how a few stupid people got into stupid situations. Played Star Trek Bridge Commander, and I beat the game (Wahoo!). I`m good at keeping my shields high, and I have good strategic tactics and I am very good at conserving ammo (torpedoes).

Sunday: Woke up at 11:00AM which means I had 12 hrs. of sleep ^^;; Ate breakfast, and went out to buy cheap school supplies. I got 20 sheet covers for $1 (CHEAP!), new back pack, and a bunch of binders and paper. Checked out, and went to Sports Mart for some new shoes. Got a pair of expensive shoes because my feet are US Size 11EE (that means long and wide feet). We went to Buck Or Two to check out the place and left with a huge bag full of army men toys, and other neat stuff. Dad got the Weed killer we needed, and we bought 25 DVD-Rs forme to play with.

Rushed back for lunch, and ate hot dogs and fries. We went to Best Buy and here`s where the luck is ^_^ Mom and Dad went to get that money refund to compensate for the depreciation of my mp3 player, and they even got the CD Case and CD wallet promotion along with it! Plus there were only 2 of them left! Wahoo! I also found Macross 2, and Macross Plus there. I bought Macross 2 since I have Macross Plus here on the computer. At First Markham Place, we went to buy mushrooms, and when Dad was driving around in circles waiting for Mom to finish, we found a parking spot! So we parked down, and went into the mall. We walked around, and I went to the store that contained all the Macross stuff, and I found that they`re overpriced by 55$ No way am I going to waste that much money. I think I`ll go back to the comic bookstore at Bayview and Mackenzie later to buy that toy. We ended up eating at Peaktop (nice place) for dinner (mmm, very good Peking Duck). We just went straight to the apartment for the night, and Dad fixed up the drapes in my room (yay dark room now, no waking up at 5:00AM), and placed shelves in the closet (happy thought indeed). Cleaned up our toys, and plugged my mp3 CD player`s batteries in to charge.

Monday is pretty idle, as its civic holiday so nothing much is open. Everyone woke up late, so we all went out for brunch at Jade Dynasty. When we`re about to ask for the bill though, we had to wait 5 minutes until they noticed it and took it (very long when you`re doing nothing), and they didn`t even wait for us to ask us what we needed to pack the left overs in. We had to ask for that too and wait for it. While packing the stuff up, nobody bothered to help, so I just instinctively started packing everything. It took about 15 minutes to get a check and containers. Dad and I guessed that the waiters aren`t experienced and cool under pressure pressure. But they will learn those in time. Went home, and did the usual cleaning and house preparation for a guest doing a presentation on knives o_O Well my friend is selling them, so we granted him the presentation. However, when it came time to buying, my Dad got taken in by my friend and spent a very large sum of money for a set of knives o_O Well he can afford it, but it`s still a bit too much I think. Oh well, these things happen sometimes. Atleast he knows that it was a mistake to spend so much (Dad`s forgiven). Surfed a little, and generally just relaxed throughout the day.

It`s a lot better than most months I`ve had so far. As for personal feelings, I`ve had a few, but it`s not very prevailent anymore, I`m having a grand time on my own and with my group of friends. However, the answer to the puzzle of my last entry is here:

|-- --| |- -|
|400 145| |10 0|
|356 134| |08 0|
|-- --| |- -|

The key is my name ^_^;;
|- -| |- -|
|J 0| = |10 15|
|H N| = |08 14|
|- -| |- -|

|-- --| |- -| |- -|^-1
|400 145| |10 0| X |10 15|
|356 134| |08 0| |08 14|
|-- --| |- -| |- -|

|- -| |- -|
=|13 1| |1 0|
=|18 9| |0 0|
|- -| |- -|

|- -| |- -|
=|M A| |A 0|
=|R I| |0 0|
|- -| |- -|

I`m not sure if that crush still exists or not,
it might be that I don`t feel anything because I haven`t seen her for a very long time, nobody has sent me any of her contacts after I`ve requested them -_-, she hasn`t e-mailed me (probably because I wrote the wrong address again -_-), and I wrote her phone number on the wrong paper -_- Oh well, I guess I`ll just live my life as is, because it`s still very good ^_^

Update for August 5:
Yay, more good things! Thanks Stephanie for that ICQ# *bows with thanks*. The DVD I spent today burning (10 hours) works too!!!! Yay, DVDs for cheap now ^____^

Monday, August 04, 2003

It's the start of a new month, and therefore I will make a few changes to my life (just like Kero ^_~). First I have a real physical, book of paper and pen journal. I write in it fairly frequently, but each entry goes for 4 pages. I guess I'm easier writing in a completely private journal, than I am even here. Also this month has been filled with a lot of good luck (I'll fill you in on that later tomorrow). There's also a few other things I'll say tomorrow, but I can't really blog here while parents are around (just like Mist >_<). Anyways, you'll get filled in with a big entry soon. Bye for now.

Sunday, July 27, 2003

Now here's what happened on Friday. I wake up, turn on the compy, and internet is down!!!! *cuuuurssses* Anyways, I start up the DVD-burning, and went to go do chores, and math. I did all that, and came back to check on the internet connection and the burning process. Yay, internet's back!!! *flies back online* I surf the boards, and chat with Kero and Fae. I am then bombed by my little brother whining for lunch *no cuuursses here ^___^* I go make lunch, and watch some TV while I'm eating.

I tell my brother to be good, and I put lots of trust into him that he can take care of himself for 60 minutes. I go off to the local comic bookstore on my hybrid mountain/racing bike. I get there in 20 minutes without even breaking a sweat(10km). I also noticed that when I went out, there was such a beautiful breeze to keep me cool, and the day still bright and shining. I bought the 2nd volume of Samurai Girl Real-bout High School (rich snob I am), and then raced over and uphill to the local video rental store in the same amount of time. Once again, there was the beautiful breeze, and to accompany me. I get to the store, and rent what my friends planned to watch (Animatrix), and I also rented Neon Genesis Evangelion. Okay, so I'm way behind on anime updates, but that's because I didn't have the money and time to watch the stuff during the school year.

I start riding home, and I just happen to leave the store when school ends, so there are masses of students blocking my way!!! Well this is a nice place to live so people are courteous to make an opening for me to pass through the crowds. I get home, do the usual cleaning and shower. I may have not broke a sweat, but who knows, maybe I just didnt' notice (I wouldn't want to find out the hard way that I smell). I do about 30min of math, then I go downstairs to see what I can do to clean the house. I end up watching Transformers Armada with my little brother ^^;;

AHHHHHHH!!! I can't believe a weirdo dream came true!!!!! Anyways if you go to my dream's blog, you can read the dream there. It's around 5:00PM, and my friend comes by to start the tutorial. Well he's always on time, now we just have to wait for everyone else to arrive. So he plays a bit on my piano, shows me where to download FF sheet music, and I try out Aeris Theme (bleh, I'm too slow). Anyways, 40 minute passes by, so I'm wondering why nobody has shown up. Atleast somebody should have shown up or called. So I call all the other people, and 1 of them she thought it was at 6:30PM!!! *cuuurrrssses (the bad communication)* Another found out they couldn't come the (probably because her parents suspect that she's going on a date with me) *cuuurrrssses (gossip)*. I call Lirad, and he's going to be here at 7:00PM!!! Well atleast he told me yesterday that he'd be late, but not that late! Anyways, the one to arrive at 6:30PM (NT) is punctual, and the 3 of us start our studies on Geometry. Showing off artwork, piano skills, and our masses of math textbooks ^^;;;;; Note taking, and then NT starts complaining that Lirad hasn't shown up. She's really bitter and angry about it too. So we continue our studies, and then he shows up 40 minutes later than what he said he would be. She really is furious at him, but she shows it by givin him the silent treatment.

Anyways, It's time for dinner, and I panic that there's not enough food because Mom didn't make enough to feed the family and the 2 guests I have that didn't eat their dinner before coming. Well I suggest that my parents go out to eat. Yay, they agree, and now there's too much food -_- Anyways, we watch Animatrix, and when we finish, NanTing wants to watch Ranma 2nd movie (too lazy to give real title) since it was just sitting around, and she's a little of a Ranma fan. We watch that too, and have a laugh. Meantime, I'm serving pastries and doughnuts. They are reluctant to take them though since they feel they're mooching (leeching) off of me. I don't mind giving the food, and hosting the tutorials. After the movie Lirad had to go, but the rest of us played Bomberman World for 3 rounds. Now it's time for everyone to go since it's late (12:00AM). So my friend that came on time can go home on his own (guys can walk alone), and I have to escort NT home (even though it's only 5 minutes to her house, and she is stubborn to try and leave on her own). I don't even have shoes on, or my keys, and she's almost at the door!!! So I just grab a pair of slippers, and join her on the walk home. Anyways, nothing big happens to me anyways, and she's just a friend, nothing more!!! We discuss our opinions about Animatrix, and talk a little about what to do for the next tutorial (host somewhere else).

I start walking home, and for the first time in my life, I see the stars, not behind a window, not under a shelter, not behind a screen, but just the stars and I. I walk slowly, as to look at 3 stars that are particularly bright. 1 to the West, another to the North, and a 3rd to the South. I stop at my house one more time, and look at them, how far and high they are. I guess I'm another one of those people that really wished I could bring something to see them better and closer instead of from the ground. Anyways, I got home, and went to sleep after that. Saturday has nothing special because it's all the usual. However, I did get my parents out of the house for the night and I'm posting here. I saw a certain OL person that I thought I had gotten my crush died. Instead it just pierces through it's coffin, and returns to pound at my heart and yell for me to do something (Okay it's waay out in the open now). That's all, I'm currently having a few problems with the Admins of AL, as apparently they linked their mp3 site hub with their admins. Geez, why did they have to connect them, they couldn't make a separate mp3 webring? Oh well, I'm tired, and my heart has seized his pounding. I'll be around on Monday.

Tuesday, July 22, 2003

Wow, it's only been 3 days since I was last hear, and yet it seems like an eternity. No game installations, I've just been here at the computer talking with lots of people Online, playing around. I passed the training session, but only after I turned on invincibility @_@ I must be rusty. Anyways, AL came back up shortly after I said "Mass Exodus" from AL back to OASK and I giving up on trying to revive the place. So now that they're back up, I just stopped by to take a look, post my opinions, and then BACK to OASK for posting craze (So much to talk about in OASK)!!! I'm still kicking Cardassians back to where they came from, and I was even rewarded a new supply of quantum torpedoes (yay, I don't need to refrain from using them on the weird unknown species).

I haven't practised much on the piano recently because I'm here, at my desk working on MATH (EEEEEE!!!!), or reading Samurai Girl Real Bout High School (It's not Hentai Kero!!! As much as he wished it to be ROFL!!!!). Although in the past 4 days, I did find out that my 2 IRL crushes has been knocked down to 1. This is because I found out on one of the girl's (Stephanie's) blogs that her parents were suspecting that she liked me or the other way around which was true for a little bit of the time. However, my feelings were mere reactions to the signals I was getting from body language. Anyways, it explicitly says in her blog that she likes someone else. I'm happy to find that out, and I should clear some stuff up too. Now I wish I could be able to speak to her friend who I have a REAL crush on (mind starts to just float away when I see her in the picture I took of her). Also I was stupid enough to write her phone number down on Stephanie's rough copy essay that she took home, and not in my binder when Lirad was passing on her phone number. Her name is

N1=|- -|
|400, 145|
|356, 134|
|- -|
N2=|- -|
|10, 0|
|08, 0|
|- -|

The key to the matrix encrypted code is my name:
K1=|- -| |- -|
|J O| = |10 15|
|H N| = |08 14|
|- -| |- -|

IF you know how to do matrix operations, then this should be pretty easy.
Just invert my name matrix (the numbered one), and multiply it with the 2 encrypted matrices above it as in K1 invert times N1, and K1 invert times N2. Each element number that is there should be a number between 1-26. A is 1, and Z is 26, so the number you get is the letter. The letters should spell a name and the pattern for the positioning of the letters is the same way my name is spelt. JO (next line) HN (new matrx) CH (next line)UI if the encoded messages were my name (but its not). If you can't figure it out, try and catch me online. "What about Mist?" Kero would say, and I'd reply that he is trying to make my life a living Ranma graphic novel (without the water transforming). I don't have a crush on Mist, as I'm just getting to know her, so I still don't know her well enough to say anything. Now, there is the OL crush I think I'm losing too from my last entry. Why is that? Probably because I haven't seen her in the past week, but she's busy with school which is understandable. Is that good or is that bad? I would still like Jerpy and Kerpy to keep their mouths sealed (with ductape if it is needed) on this matter though. Now should I try and communicate with her? or not? Hmmm. Nah, I'm going to be Hamlet like and do nothing ^_^

Saturday, July 19, 2003

Currently Listening to: "Feel My Heart" by Every Little Thing, AND "First Love (Piano)" by Utada Hikaru, AND PLAYING "True True" from Love Generation on my piano.

Well it's been a week since I was here. Now let's see, more games installed, some chatting, Mr. Anonymous at Ris and Jero's places got messed around with *hee hee*. The entire AL has been shut down, and now there's a "mass exodus" from AL back to OASK. Aww, and I was starting to revive AL from its burned (flamed) pieces too. Oh well, since I can't do that, I guess I'll stop going there *shrugs shoulders*

Let's see, I installed X-wing alliance, and i'm getting my @$$ whooped in the training session because the dinky y-wing doesn't got crap for shields and even less for speed. In Bridge commander, I'm doing the @$$ whooping ^^;; turning cardassians to space dust with only photo torpedoes (not even quantums yet).

Do some work, go to hospital for appointment, had to fast the night before, and therefore my stomach was embarrassingly loud in the quiet hospital. Afterward from my appointment, I went to the apartment to play games, some toys, listen to music, and buy stuff (DexDrive, and another controller for my psx)!!! But before the family left the apartment to come back up to the house, I took a few pictures of sunset in Toronto. It's sooo beautiful, If I got the right exposure times (5 seconds for sunset? Anybody with Camera knowledge please help me with this?!).

Thursday I spent starting to program my own version of Missle Commander after I got my Java compiler back up and running. Friday was spent playing around, getting ready for the night's tutorial for stats and calculus. I also downloaded a couple of sheet music songs for Zelda, Utada Hikaru, and Love Generation's True True (been looking for this one for quite a while). We covered the work, then everyone went to watch Princess Mononoke after the tutorial, and eat dinner (pizza again ^_^;;).

Now I'm just whacking Kero for trying to match me up with every single gal that I talk to on MSN, or say something about on the boards ^^;; He should see the clue here, and then HE SHOULD STAY QUIET!!! AND ANYBODY ELSE THAT FINDS OUT SHOULD STAY QUIET TOO!!!! Unless it's the gal that I have a crush on that finds out, then please reply via a private channel (e-mail). That's all have fun everyone!

Saturday, July 12, 2003

I've done most of my upgrades for the computer except for the stupid RAM upgrade because after i plug the stick in properly, my video card goes screwy. DVD-burner inside, adobe photoshop in computer, printer drivers installed. 1 of my space combat sims installed, and that's it. House has a new TV, but we still only use 1 of them (the new one of course). Oh, and there's office 2000 and Visio for our computer YAY (People now think John is weird)!!!!!

Looking at blogs: Sees the wars gathering their steam, goes to the twins to see how they're doing in school, EMOTICONS!!! And they're soooooo cute!!!! Yah, Joanne's blog is blue, cute, and very attractive to just pop in and stare, drool at the background and avatar.

JULY 11, JULY 11, 7/11, 7/11 BEWARE OF THE 11 PHENOMENON!!!!
WAHOO, and AHHHHH at the same time, on the same day!!!!!!
First up, I wake up handle the morning routine, and go online. Aphy shows a cute stuffed doll on ebay, and I myself go on an ebay finding craze looking for at macross stuff. That was fun. Online bad stuff, enough said, MOVING ON and out of harms way. Play games, do some math, go out to rent a movie!!! Yay, I rented The Pianist (Okay, so all my friends and I have taken private piano lessons for atleast 2 years). I got everybody to come to!!! So we all gathered in front of the tiny 20in TV, turned on the stereo, pumped up the volume to the max, and watched the movie. We stopped halfway through when the pizza, wings and garlic sticks came. Wow, a tasty meal that feeds about 5 friends for only 30$!!! We continued to watch the movie, while parents ate in the living room, and talked to sis over the phone (that hasn't happened in 2 weeks). We finished the movie at 10:30PM, and everybody ran to my piano (Japanese made Yamaha, they don't make them in Japan after like 1995 or something because they relocated to Canton). 1 of my friends played her exam music, and some of her other favourites. She really does fast paced, quick noted pieces very well. I'm the other side, with soft, slow, and very relaxing (NOT BORING!) pieces. Anyways, we played for about an hour, and it everybody had to leave. I forgot to use common courtesy of walking my friend (girl that played piano on this day) home at 11:30PM at night (because we are just friends, and I thought doing such a service would have different implications as to how friendly I am). I curse myself for not doing so. Afterwards, I had an hour long argument and discussion about what I want to do in life with my mom. I have great ambitions, but not the abilities to achieve them. So what should I do, forget about them? "No, just think realistically" my mom says. Also I find out indirectly that my dad thinks I need better planning, although I think I managed pretty well since we all enjoyed ourselves. I just wish people were more decisive, and everybody (including myself) needs to communicate better (that's what cell phones, e-mails, IMs, are for). Overall, I think it was a pretty good day for me ^__^

To recap:
Good emphasized stuff: Movie, games, macross findings, and food
Bad emphasized stuff: OL wars have begun, lost direction in life again, bad communcation with dad, and not escorting friend home (which goes against common courtesy).

Tuesday, July 08, 2003

Yippee, I modfied my blog layout on my own. I now know how to use the basic functions of frames (thanks to staring at Roman's and Joanne's blog code for about 6 hours), and I acknowledge that I stole some code (the scroll ability for the entries in the blog) and formatting from Joanne (Although it seems most of the world has a picture on the right side of the screen).

Okay, I'm making an entry that is a bit more frequent. Some of these entries are just comments about blogs of other people, comments and other things because I'm cluttering everybody's tag-board up way too much. If you want, you can delete the tag-boards stuff by logging into your tag-boards, going to posts, check-marking the messages, and clicking delete. Anyways on to the comments:

Roman's blog, is starting to look like the school blogs of everybody on that side of the world. Also, the practical exams already for him? He only started school like about 2 weeks ago. Wow that's intense studying to do well like that.

Allison's back, and wow I read that whole entry in 5 minutes!!! Yay, I'm learning to speed read a little, and I'm now quite scared of the Clowmistress' firing ability with a mouse. I 'm only at the lower half ranks of shooters out there. But be careful in a dogfight, where the crosshair is fixed, the only direction you can go is forward-up, forward-down, forward-left, forward-right, and no reverse, no jumping, and definitely NO STRAFING!!!Also don't forget I always give big pills of meds (homing missles) at point-blank range (in other words, 0% chance of avoidance).

Into Fangli's and Joanne's blog, one can find 2 opinions on the course that are strikingly the same, but then I can see the difference in personality between the two. Fangli's entry is going to take the time to relax for a day, and then stress over the next week or so. Joanne's hasn't stopped that peak study mode yet, and it doesn't look like it will stop (which is fine too, just get enough sleep, eat lots and lots of carbohydrates and sugars, and you can probably last out the whole semester^^;;). BTW, I wonder what type of camera Joanne has (full manual? camera older than user like me? lots more specifications too), because Fangli talked about under-exposed pics on film (so atleast I know its a regular SLR camera and not APS or pure digital). I usually only get that problem if I don't have my camera flash to brighten everything (and blind the subject), or when i'm taking night scenic pictures and I only left the shutter open for 5 minutes when it should have been 10 minutes (I have a manual shutter capability which allows me to do that). Everybody will get to see one of my pictures of spectacular Toronto at night when I get a scanner.

Jalana going off to AX, WAH nothing like that here! I wish there was a more outspoken anime community here.

Reading Kero's blog, I wonder what problems is he talking about? Also whatever he does to make his blog difficult to read, it won't work, unless he infects it with a virus. Then I can't read it.

Ris is having a fun time, with her PH powers, and torturing Jero with a shoe on his head, and saying if he lets the shoe fall off he dies. So I being the evil villain playfully try to push it off his head (poke shoe, trip Jero, cut his hair, slice his hair, sand off his hair, and the shoe). Ends up I become the hero, because the shoe was suppose to be in 1 piece, and now it turned into a few billion ^^;; That was fun.

So as you can see, I go through the blogs by first going to my own, clicking on Roman's first, then opening all those in separate windows, and lah, no lag because of CABLE internet!!!

Monday, July 07, 2003

It's Christmas in July for me ^_^
I've got all 3 theatres of WWII finally for Combat Flight Sims (Combat Flight Simulator 1 and 3 is the European front, IL-2 Sturmovik is the Russian front, and Combat Flight Simulator 2 is the Pacific Theatre)
I got 2 new PSX1 games (FFTactics, and MotoRacer 2)
Lots of computer upgrades, and a new mp3 CD player. Just missing a scanner and a monitor now.

A few weird dreams, and I still have all that stuff to do from the last entry.

Tuesday, July 01, 2003

WAHOO!!!!! In less than a week of summer vacation, and I'm already #1 and most of #2 of my summer plans!!!! Currently trying to communicate with my IRL friends over ICQ (turn on your ICQ!!!!). I took a trip with my family to Niagra falls, and for the weekend. I haven't been there in 14 years!!!!!! Also the place is beautiful, and I got pics (need to be developed), and camera footage (not coming to a webpage near you). On Friday, my friends and I watch Charlie's Angel's Full Throttle, and Darkness Falls afterwards. Wahaha, I'm having sooo much fun right now for the holidays, that I better open a book before I go overboard!!!Anyways, now to re-make that list of things to do:
#1 Fix old computer (1 day)
#2 Finish Math textbook (14 chapters, 2 done during the year, do half chapter each day, and I should be done fairly quickly)
#3 Study courses for next semester (currently being organised)
#4 My models (USS Nimitz, and a bunch of German WWII planes)
#5 FIND MONEY (although a gal is more important)
#6 ROBO ROBO ROBO (make one, and organise a competition)

Thursday, June 26, 2003

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAY Exams are over!!!!!!! Well I still have another year of high school to go but, I'm happy that I don't have English to contend with anymore!!! Now here are my plans for summer:

#1 Clean my room (1 day)
#2 Fix the old and new computers of the house as well as network them(1 week or more)
#3 Finish that last Math textbook in my room!!! (1 month)
#4 Study courses for next semester (All summer with my IRL friends)
#5 Build a model plane by the end or the summer (1 month)
#7 Build my robot (Igor Sikorsky style: Didn't know how to initiallly build/design/fly a helicopter, but made a successful one anyways)!
#8 Organise for competitions next year.

That's about all I can think of at the moment. Now anything I'll be thinking about this summer, besides my super packed schedule? Well it's not really super packed, if i do each item for an hour. What am I thinking? Oh just the normal stuff, I don't have enemies currently, so I'm not plotting anything like I usually do. I'm thinking about what I will accomplish with my robots, the competitions, and what will become of me with these achievements. Personally, I have no idea because it depends greatly on whether I have the support of others, or not.

If I have the support of my family, and the rest of society. My creations will reflect the positive society, as my creations may be used for construction, exploration, and other useful applications. If I am thought of as crazy by my family, and rejected by everyone for being weird. My creations will reflect my anger at society. Everyone thinks that a RL Gundam, Battlemech Atlas, and Imperial Chicken Walkers are fiction. They are fiction for the size that they are depicted, but if they are built to the same size as a Human, or smaller, they can be dangerous automated assault troops that are disposable. The faction that uses these will have no military losses except for maybe the loss of mech units. Their loss of life for military personnel would almost be 0. However, on the side seeing these units as enemy, will find themselves swamped by thousands, millions of enemies. There won't be any long struggles over land, or stalemates. It'll either be complete victory, or total annihlation.

As you can see, I have much more analysis on strategy to destroy life, instead of maintain it. Perhaps I think like this because I've never actually found that special girl that will perservere through the possibility of battering down the evil nature within me.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

Okay, today is mainly a reflection on my night at what is TO BE (Not IS, because I'm still in HS for another year) my university residence. It was a clear night, with a full moon. I looked out at the window and first thought "I think I'll take pictures of this beautiful city at night" So I did take a couple of pictures (6 pictures). Afterwards, when everyone had gone to sleep, and I was left alone, I opened the window, and the blinds (all lights off) to see the scenery unobscured and with the moon shining in. I realized that I want to live, work, and spend the rest of my life right there. I will live comfortably there, and most likely will be the place I live the rest of my life alone. I went to sleep, and woke up with 2 weird dreams (please go to the link of where my dreams blog entry on June 15, 2003). Afterwards, I went to the exercise room, did some exercise, and then I talked with family about what would happen in the late future. My parents will either pass on, or live in nursing homes. Bro would probably live in the apartment that we spent last night sleeping in, I will inherit the parents house and have my blue beetle buzzing around to bro, sis, and parents. Sis would probably have a castle/manor/estate/BIG HOUSE with pool tennis court, a red car and not let me in to crash for a night. Anyways, that's all, the main thing today is the 2nd dream I had (recurring imagery of the colours red and violet)

Friday, June 13, 2003

Time to update this place before it becomes a dusty empty book in the basement. First, I've downloaded 1 CD by the group "Every Little Thing" and I can't stop listening to them (Current favourite is Feel My Heart)!!! Also I got a MP3 CD player, That's 20hrs of Music per disc!!!! Woohoo, unfortunately the player saps energy like crazy (5hrs of playing time before my Nickel Metal Hydrides die). I have 2 of my 4 mp3 CDs done too. I've been pretty busy because it was term paper and presentation time, and now it I'm approaching exam week. A quick rerun of my month is the Robot competition (Yay, my team won!!!), my English term paper and presentation (yay, upped my mark 5%), Stats tests/quizzes, paper and presentation (Don't know my mark, so I'm still nervous about that), and bio tests.

Anyways, that's all fairly normal stuff. Now for bad stuff. On Sunday, I lost my internet connection due to network problems. It seems my network card does not function anymore. So I spent 2 days fixing it, and I restore my network connection by redirecting my internet connection to my USB-network hub, and connecting to the internet via USB. Now I have Hard Drive problems as the computer bios does not even detect my 2nd hard drive (which has the other 2 mp3 CDs on it still). So now I have to fix that too. That's the material problems.

Now here's a "correlation" (gets whacked by friends for bringing statistics class back) between Charles Brown, and I:
Charles Brown
-Liked a red-haired girl
-was always afraid to approach her
-always finishes last
-always searches for deeper meanings in life
-nobody listens to him
-ridiculed by his society for his mistakes.

-Liked a red-haired girl
-was always afraid to approach her
-always finds something out too late (might as well finish last then)
-always searches for deeper meanings in life
-nobody listens to him
-ridiculed by his society for his mistakes