Friday, July 02, 2004

Setting out to do something is always the most stressful of all times

Well, the past week has been relaxing, went out and enjoyed myself a few times here and there.  The usual conflicts and yellings.  Not sure why, but Canada Day was really tense.  The night before dad was stressed because we had to send off sis' documents to her.  We Xpressposted it, even though I told my dad to use Priority courier -_- I know it's not going to be on time.  Then Loblaws gave us crap by not letting my dad in (Hey it's 8:30PM, we can get a bag of of milk in less than that time).  Well Dad was really pissed off about that, and then he sort of didn't calm down the rest of the night.  Mom and dad had an argument late night, and its intensity was maintained today. 

Achieving something is hard only when there is no initiation to start up.

The day itself was spent packing, and cleaning, and learning to cook yaay =D The night itself was okay, went ot see spidey 2 and then expel all the fireworks in my backpack.  They were cheap, they weren't very fancy, but hey it's my first time handling explosives.  Simple is good for beginners.  J asked to see my phone, I didn't know he was looking for A's phone number and copying it.  Rude to be scanning my phone book like that.  Well he got her number, and well I knew I was going to be on one of A's lists because of my carelessness.  Played some games at C's house, and then got a ride back home.  When A got online, I told her the truth, even though it was a bad time, I'd much rather tell her ASAP then for her to find out and THEN kill me.  Well, I certainly got a yelling, A was already in a bad mood about earlier matters and telling her this made it worse.  I changed the subject a bit, then asked a question that was relating to school because I forget lots of things, and that's why I ask again.  Anger came about because A thought I was going to use what I asked to make fun, and belittle them.  I wasn't, I was just curious and wanted to know.  I have no motive or anything, now I know what M means by I'm paranoid or analyze and think too much into things.  I talked back saying things that M had told me, and I thought about deeply about what I should do about weaknesses in my character.  Told A that, and got a sorry, but then the character of mine's was split by what I have learned, and what I am accustomed to.  Paranoia vs acceptance.  I chose acceptance in the end though because I want to give ourselves hope of continued friendship, and myself hope for improvement. 

As distant as one is from their origins, one is always drawn back to their roots to find identity

I'm going back to HK for a few weeks to see my relatives (all of them).  I'll probably spend quite a bit of the time playing with my cousins, or be a good cousin for them to look up to.  I hope we can visit our village again, and I'm curious as to what my heirloom was/is and our family history and tree that is somewhere in the village.  Past stories I don't often hear, as we're too caught up often arguing about each other's past mistakes and faults.  Well I won't be around online for a month on MSN, ICQ or Yahoo IM.  I'll check my mailboxes, and maybe update here if I have the time (don't expect very often though).

Until next month then, wish me a happy and safe vacation, and I hope you well in the future too.