Wednesday, January 29, 2003

Current Song: I am by Hitomi
Current Status: Happy Happy stress free! Nothing to worry about, I got it covered.

Yippee, exams are over! I have 4 days off! The chemistry exam was sooooo easy! So I'm really happy about that. As for what I plan to do for the coming little holiday, I'm going to upgrade the computer, finish my fanart (it'll be the background of this blog very soon), and play some games. Ya ya, I'm also going to be celebrating Chinese New Year at our cousin's house.

Also other good news is that Dad made up with Mom some time ago, and my little bro is trekking through his school work. Another acquistion we acquired was a model F4U Corsair for my little brother. Ya ya, I'm really happy, life is good to me. I don't have much else to say because I'm so happy! I'll come back when the computer is upgraded (or back to normal), or when I've gone through some of my plans.

Friday, January 24, 2003

Current Song: Dare by Stan Bush (Hot-Rod's theme from Transformers the Movie)
Current status: High alert, and in stealth. Plane with no ammo! Head on a swivel, looking out for anything threatening and trying to get away!

Well well, I make a blog entry on my mother's birthday, but this entry will not be a joyous occasion. I'll start with school. I did get my English essay back marked up. I tanked it because it was suppose to be a comparison essay, and not a politcal paper. I did take my electrochem test on the 15th, and I aced it! Yippee, we also got review sheets to study from, and I went through the whole year in 4 days! We got a lot of English work to prepare for the exam, such as read a short story, read the history of the English language. I read those and I think I did well on those parts. As for the essay question of the exam, I have absolutely no idea how I did on that question, it's worth is 50% of the exam, and I think I was rambling back and forth with points of proof that could be contradictory. There goes my English mark, I'm already hovering at around 68-69%. Too high for summer school, and too low to be worth anything. I have the chem exam on wed and I'll be upgrading the computer soon too.

Yay, Dad bought the computer case I need to make the upgrade! I got to talk to Sakura-chan yesterday, and I'm still madly in love with her. She's starting to get flooded with work, and we both have exams this week. I'll still be here for her I think (If I'm not taking cover from family feuds). Ahhhhh, I love you so much, and in my house there is nothing but war in my house. I'm so scared of what could happen, and I wish you were by my side, or here to take me away from the destruction happening here. I have Murphy's law once again to hit me where it hurts most in life. Exams are here, and the family is now really falling apart. I guess I live for these high peaks of stress.

Monday, January 13, 2003

This is what happened on 1/10/2003, if you remove the slash from 1/10, it becomes 110, which is a multiple of 11. 11 is the number that brings the most out of my day, good or bad. I wake up as usual at 0800 and come online to see jero, zechs, kero, and roman ^_^. Kero was babbling about some secret, and everyone was whining to get it out of him. Kero gaves lots of clues, and I found the secret. Everyone was happy that the secret was out, and then I had to run (ice skate) to school.

I got to school with 5 minutes to spare, and I was not even short of breath. We had the electrolysis lab, the lab produced some unknown gas, and everyone was coughing like crazy (I was no exception).

I got home, talked to jero about education and university. After jero left, I did my robot designs for the club meeting that was coming 3 hours later.

I went to English class, handed in my comparative essay, that I am very proud of (I'm not sure if the teacher will be though). We were suppose to work on analyzing a poem to death, but we all talked about other stuff, such as how bad DECA was, and our inability to raise money. The period ended fairly unproductively, and I went to the Robot meeting.

The meeting just updated everyone on the progress, and we had a lesson on PBASIC (yay). It finshed at 1630, but I spent an hour behind discussing with the advisor and the other executives of budget, what to tell, and some discussions about Robots (actually lots).

I ran home knowing that all my friends from OASK and AL were going to be there, and I haven't done my chores yet. I forgot about my chores to see who was online, and nobody was online. I did receive 2 messages though, one was from the certain someone, and the other was the daily newsletter. I read the certain someone's mail first, and trashed the newsletter.

I am happier than ever that I have found the one. I wrote a reply, and then my stupid e-mail account goes down, and erases what i just wrote! I retyped 2 words on notepad, and then my mom starts whining that the cable TV is not working! I fix it, and go back up to finish up the mail, and then sis comes in to tell her stories of crazy KazaA users. Fine, fine they're interesting stories, I need to get back to this mail!. Nooo, I now have to do my chores and fix the cable TV again! Okay, I fixed it, and did all the chores, I gotta get back to the mail! "JOHN! The cable's broken again!" Ahhhh, 3rd time in less than an hour! Fixed up, sister's out of way, cable fixed, everything done, little bro playing by himself, I can now type the mail. I'm done, saved, and then Internet connection goes down! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, IS EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD TRYING TO STOP ME FROM TELLING MY LOVE HOW I FEEL! I restarted the computer, and I waited a few minutes for the internet connection to come back. Dad comes home, and everyone has to greet him like usual (Ugh, more delays!). Okay, I greeted him, and now I gotta send the mail! Finally I access the window, send it and hope to dear God that it sends! It is sent and I'm overjoyed that I succeeded in this mission of sending the letter. I guess Murphy's law affects me most acutely when I have important stuff to do. That's all for today, I did the usual stuff besides all this which is chat with Allison(Alli-chan) and Allison(Ally-chan), Dave, and Matt's back too (Yippee!).

Wednesday, January 08, 2003

Well 4 days pass by, and just about everything is done! I finished my Chemistry research paper, and I finished pulverizing my English Essay 2nd draft. All at the expense of missing a certain someone online. I'm way ahead of everyone else in English (by 2 drafts now!) and I have revived my smart, snobby, nerd school image T_T. I also just got back from the hospital for a follow-up appointment.

They're raising my meds T_T and giving me a blood pressure lowering med so that my kidney is not overloaded with work. I also have not been getting good sleep, and I'm not sure why. It can possibly be because of the stress/med/or I'm thinking too much about the certain someone.

I did find out one very important aspect of the education system in my country that is different from the US. In the US, everyone is hard-working and has good working habits. Here just about everybody trys to work and distract themselves at the same time (This includes me). I usually do all of my work off the computer (Chem assignment and English essay), but I still have my MSN on the sidelines while I'm typing up those papers. I admire those in the US for their hard-working behaviour and I will try to be more focused in my task.

I'm glad I have time to study for the week of chem I missed before the holidays (2 days of DECA disasters, 2 days kidney biopsy, and a day to recover from losing 8 hours of sleep over the week). I'm also stuck in another block of decision making processes that will dictate my future. My New Year's post that stated I can not feel love at this crucial moment is an impossible task. I feel it, but I can't express it. I fear the rejection and the loss of friendship. I can help and show fancy to a person, but the receiver only sees that. I can hint to someone, but I am unable to show/tell them the full extent of my feelings without shocking their and my world.

(I've edited this 6 times and it still doesn't sound right)
Racing for impact

Saturday, January 04, 2003

What a day, the 4th day of the new year, and the house has literally exploded with anger. Geez, I go take my daily shower at 6:00PM, and then 20 minutes later, I find myself in a battlefield. I tried to avoid everything by studying, but it just didn't work. I could not concentrate on studying for chemistry, and started thinking about how the heck did this start. I never asked the question, or I'd be a viable target.

Before that however, during the night, I had a mind block as to how do you trust somebody, or how do you know they're honest and true? I've been conned twice when I was young, treated like dirt, nearly got my work plagerised. So I'm not too well educated in this area of social behaviour.

Thursday, January 02, 2003

Alright, I didn't post what I did on New Year's Eve yesterday, that's because I didn't have a lot of time to post.

Anyways, I spent the New Years Eve in my bed, reflecting on the past, present and future like I do every year. However, I did do more reflection on whether I was in Love with someone or not. I am in love with someone, but now is not the time for me to be thinking about love. I have grades and my health to worry about, I can not take on another task of kindling love, without compromising another now.

As for today, I went to our new apartment to take a look, I won't be able to live in it for atleast another year, so I won't be there for a while, but it's soooo nice, and if I want to live there, I need to get good grades, and get into university. I then had a revelation while I was at the apartment, my robots everywhere in the room, the computer next to me with OASK and AL on the screen, Chris and angelchan coming up to visit and chat, I coming back to the place like it was home after work, even having the girl I love come up with me to eat. But like everything else in the world, it has a hefty price tag, I can love a girl, and lose a life (either dying, or being a bum). Or I can live the life I always wanted, just postponing the love until I am ready. That's all, I hope everyone else has a Happy and prosperous New year, I know I have a life of worries and feelings to hold, for the next year.

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Happy New year to all, It seems I have a very loud and busy new year with school work. My siblings both got in trouble for either sleeping the day away, or defying commons sense. That's all and today I really had fun eating donuts and working. I'll be like this for the next couple of days, and probably working a bit faster now that I've reviewed redox reactions. Yippee, all that's left is to do my essay and and refine it next week.