Sunday, April 18, 2004

A single grain of rice can tip the scale of success(contentment) and defeat (misery).

Lots of things have happened, and life is pretty okay, nothing much is happening with me, except for a large number of jugglings with my schedule, as the final stretch of the school year approaches. Prom cancellation is iminent (iminent not eminent, they are entirely opposite in meaning), which is a major bummer for me because #1 my friends will have wasted their money on tuxes, or dresses, and I have only spent money on a ticket. They'll have a large write-off loss, while I'm high break even, or even make a little since I did make up what I spent in the last quarter from my dividends in stocks. In addition, they will not experience such a good event and might regret it as I already have. I just get double dosed of that. Oh well, I'm bad luck so I should expect double the bad right? Besides that things are looking up. It would appear that most people only talk about their bad things here and not their good things. Well, d-boat is really nice, even though it's hard when I'm freezing, and I took a hit to my left appendage. It's refreshing in the way that I am part of a community taking part in a common goal. Pursuing my own ambitions is good, but sometimes I can't just do that all the time. It feels good to be in society, I know a few of my friends, some are bored, some don't care, some wish to kill everyone and relieve their stress, some wish for honesty in people, rather than phony politeness, and some wish for spiritualness instead of materialism. Well, I try my best to help in some of these, despite how insignificant I can be, but that does not sway my mind. If I have tried my best, then I am content that I tried, and that there is a slight possibility that they think a little better. Well it's late, and so I'm off to sleep, and blast through the rest of the hmwk like I usually do, see you all later.

Tuesday, April 06, 2004

When ambitions are at stake, we forget that trust, honour, and friendship are existing entities.

Well, just when i thought things were looking up, I have had everything I hold dear to my heart torn to pieces. I won`t say who they are, because I still respect them highly for who they are, and as much as they mentally beat me, I will still stay true to what I`ve been as much as possible. However, I may have to warn those that do anger me, they may see the very bad side of me that formed from the lack of appreciation, or thankfullness. Let`s start with Saturday since this is where it all started. Sort of finding out that there`s not a lot going on with prom. That`s the OKAY part, I`ve always done organization, and as long as 1 person is in charge, that`s good ^^ (happy part). Bad part is that 1 of my parents said that my friends aren`t communicating well to me because they don`t want me around at all. In addition there`s the "care for nobody but yourself" talk from that parent. Well that hurt a lot, as it completely contradicted my own ideals, and so the next day I woke up with swollen eyes. The next thing was bad presentations I`ve to live with. Yes I`m a very technical person with bad people skills like my dad. However, that A) I`m not quite prepared yet to drop my technical merit to be booster rocket for another. B) I`m not a person that can do everything for you, we`re in a team for a reason, so do your part to. I hate yelling at people to work. So there is a leech, on my left knee, a knife to cut my left hand off, and dynamite at my chest of ideals. I will go crazy if one of these things messes up.

Saturday, April 03, 2004

Fear, difficulty, and beauty are all perspective. They will always be confirmed if you expect them and do nothing about them.

Well it is the end of yet another terrible midterm exam. I know I made millions of errors, despite my attempts to stay accurate. John can be intelligent, but his big problem is ACCURACY. So GOOD BYE nice marks, and in comes another disappointment in life. Well I still have 1 test on Wednesday, and another few next week to bring light and hope to my other 2 grades. Had an after party that had everyone not eating much, everyone`s probably too depressed about earlier events. Well we still enjoyed ourselves. Some still have more to go, but they`ll be fine I`m sure, they`re all very smart people ^^ A few closures to a few who couldn`t make it due to prior? or just later more inticing events? Well it`s all okay still because atleast I knew beforehand and wasn`t left hanging. It all works out, and now I just have to get the rest of the stuff ready for a few future major events ^^