Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Okay, it's a very very very very very very long time since I actually posted here. Well that's probably because I was updating my AA site instead of this site =P Did the 2nd physics test earlier this month, and did a calculus test too. My Physics mark is now an 88%, that's nothing new, I've had that average before, I need to break what I call the 90 barrier. I've only gotten to the 90 barrier (that's because it was Computer Science), but I haven't been pasted it!

Oh well, had a great party last week, since I don't have the opportunity to do so on Halloween. I can't because I have SATs November 1st =_= I HAD to schedule for that day, and not later or earlier. Oh well, another dissappointment to deal with. Well all is normal, I still do my hmwk diligently, I still talk, and chat with friends, and I'm still well involved in school (which explains my lack of online interaction outside of my RL friends). That's all for now, I'm not dead or anything, I'm just a bit busy with the environment around me =D

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Okay, so it's suppose to be election day, and there's lots of hype as to what has been foreseen for many months. Conservatives are taking the boot. So it's another bad day today, well it's because of many things. For starters, we got our physics test back, and my knowledge section is just terrible. I made so many stupid calculation errors that it cost me 30% of my knowledge grade. Also, my student ID is all wrong. The picture is the same as it is every year, but the homeroom is wrong this year because I changed my class before the semester started. Well that's really all that's bad about school. Well I helped Andre Thompson out with his molecular Biology lab, as we're old friends, and he's a good guy, just that he's forgetful. I still have his disk that contains all of his molecules except for polypeptide, and he forgot to pick it up. Oh well, I'll give it to him tomorrow in class. I go to pick up the photos, and remember that I had dropped off an old set of film there along with the one from Tuesday. Well I pick both up, and as I look at the pictures I took on the PA day, I see how terrible I am at photography. I can't take a picture of people in action. I have the wrong angles, and I have obstacles always in the way when I take pictures, and it just makes everything look bad. I can't do this anymore. The pictures I will take will only be staged, objects or scenics (I still do well in this section). But people on John's candid camera will seize to exist.

Onee-chan (Elder sister) comes home which is nice, and she's always getting prettier when she comes home. Well I found out today that somebody she loved, was just playing with her feelings. This is the first time she actually fell in love, and the first time she's been hurt so badly. She's depressed about this (which can explain the change from pastel colours, to all dark colour clothing) and she asked me what's wrong with her. Just as I am I point out something that we can try to fix. Our parents brought us up in the way that we protect ourselves. This makes us more distant from other people, and others really do not know our true character. It's like what Onee-chan's friend said to her, and applies to me as well. "You've created a wall around you." Well Onee-chan did create more than a wall. She created a fortification so great, that no regular guy would attempt to reach into her heart. You have to be heavenly good, or Satanically evil to attempt to see peek into her heart. Unfortunately this time, it was an extremely evil guy that delved into her heart, and damaged it greatly. Onee-chan gave me a few pointers as what NOT to do when in pursuit of a girl.

I probably should make more clear around school about the girl I like. Not in the way of vocal expression, but merely how I interact with other girls besides that one person. I won't avoid or anything, but I shouldn't be so yielding to those that aren't the one I'm after. The girl I seek I see she is honest (but reserved), supportive and positive (but sometimes at the cost of her own postive thinking), forgiving but she makes sure the lessons are learned, understanding of the complex but she too needs to be understood too, and she is direct, but not unsociable. The most important quality in our family and something that I am willing to place into her is trust. Whether I can gain her trust is another story for her to tell. Besides, "we'll see" the conclusion to this, and it turning out with me failing is okay. We risk, we learn, we grow, and we pass on. It is the way life was meant to be.