Saturday, December 06, 2003

My life is currently on the line, going without my blood pressure meds for 2 days. Don`t do anything sudden or it might cost me dearly.

December 5, 2003 - 7:56PM

Life crumbles, it doesn`t explode. I have bad timing, I`m not organised enough, parents assume I don`t have a contingency plan, and I`m too anti-social still.

There are some stuck up grade 9ers in robotics that think they`re all that, but don`t even realize that they`re venturing into the competition without a brain. In addition you don`t try to steal from me >=@ Next time that kid tries that again, i swear I`m going to do more than hit his hands away from me.

Life crumbles, because the team isn`t anywhere near to unified, I guess that`s because everyone is a noob and isn`t willing to take a chance to give in or take initiative, unproductive today there =T It also crumbles because when one organises a party, everyone replies in a trickle of rejections. Should I be happy about that? I think it`s just ok that`s all, not bad or anything. I have that hope throughout the time that maybe just 1 or 2 people can come, but when they both say no simultaneously it`s not as much of a shocker or bad feeling as everyone yelling "NO!"

Parents still treat me as a a fragile sick kid. A kid that is as precious as a soap bubble, but with the capabilities of Theseus (find and kill a minotaur within a labryinth, and escape the impossible maze). If I can`t pursue what I can, want and willing to do then what is the point to my existence? Am I hear merely to suffer infront of the world, and show them that I can survive whatever damage they can inflict upon me? I WILL NOT YIELD! I will do what I can, I will do what I love to do, and I will do what keeps my sanity. That is to help people, and make them feel happy. This is what I like to do. It keeps me sane because if I wasn`t trying to do that sincerely, I`d probably let my evil corrupt mind run rampant and do evil stuff (you don`t want to know). It`s also kind of a side reason why I host planned parties at my place. I enjoy their company, and they seem to enjoy coming or being in everyone else`s company. It`s not under the setting of a school, so it`s a bit more social. That`s all for now, I`m going to do hmwk and surprise someone =P

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