Saturday, May 10, 2003

Wow long time since this place has been updated. Anyways, I'm super busy right now with a genetics exam in 2 days, English term paper in 3 weeks, stats project in 3 weeks. I also have robotics competition on Friday. I wonder if I am better, or worse. I am most certainly unique and alone. Firstly, I am alone because I found out that the red-haired girl in my stats class has a boyfriend (duh, she was pretty, I saw that coming), I'm actually glad that's cleared up. Secondly, I think I am unique and alone because with any attempt to connect with anyone becomes a waste of time and energy. When my mom and sister ask me to have a critique on the actors from the play Taming of the Shrew that I saw at the Stratford Festival, I didn't have anything to say to them because I have my own critique on the themes that were expressed in the play, not on the actors. They got angry at me for not thinking of a critique on the players, which I thought was fairly shallow.

That play has given me a definition of love, which is the symbiosis of the genders to accept/give support from/to the other in all respects mind, spirit, and flesh. I have not found that other and I will not pursue this goal of finding another. If I happen to find her, it will be as Shakespeare has so subtley shown to me, and not to anyone else (seems like nobody has seen this, yet this theme is screaming in my ear). I doubt anyone in my school though would see this theme because everyone takes literature literally before thematically, which I think clouds people's ability to interpret. Also the play's theme can be applied to common life. Think about what others say, and evaluate it comparatively to your own. Who is right and who is wrong? Are we doing what is in the best interest of everyone or are we just being selfish and trying to achieve maximum benefit for ourselves? Don't respond to these questions, but act upon these questions with the basis of moral codes and standards that society has laid out. You will be surprised to know how selfish you are (I was surprised at myself).

As one can see my eccentricity that I am more of a deep thinker than I thought myself to be. I seem to always think that everything has some underlying signficance. I suppose ranting about myself is bad too, but what else can I do when expressing myself just yields negative reactions? Or what do I do when I have nothing to say because I was analyzing something entirely different on the same subject that the MAJORITY of the population would not see until somebody pointed it out to them.

People around me ARE shallow

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